Counting Blessings After A Storm...

Monday morning we had a whopperdoozer of a storm hit the Q.C. area. Bad enough where tree limbs, trees, and related items cluttering neighborhoods. Some people have had no power for a couple days and it may be another day for some. My family still has no power as we speak but possibly later today. Trees are like knots in power lines. We slept at our hot and powerless home Monday night but last night my in-laws (God love them) allowed us to use their place as they used their starship Enterprise like RV at a nearby campground. An 9 hour sleep later and a good shower, I have a chance to handle what comes up today.

The winds got up to 100 MPH. Some say it was a tornado, the TV meterologists say not. I was at work but my wife say part of a tree go right by the bedroom window luckily it did not go in the window, could have been fatal. I thank the good lord we are alright and our only actual damage was a tree in back but that is the landlord's problem. Just messy that a good raking and a lawnmowing cannot take care of. My neighbors, that is another story. One has a above ground pool totalled and a branch spearing into their kitchen. Another had this huge pine tree cut in half. The corner of their house was shot. They are this elderly couple who could easily find another place or have family, but yet they insist on being home. More power to them I guess.

Onward we all go...

Enough...

So at one point all the ridiculous battle to achieve some profound meaning end? This week is already nuts. I am tired and had enough of my inner weaknesses and inner demons joining forces on troubled mind as I try to rebuild my family expences and livlihood after that ridiculous job cut back in February. Yesterday, I did not receive a call I got the day before regarding a position far away that I could rebuild the damages cast by others. Then a setback on my wife's side on something we BOTH forgot but she is being treated like some villian about. Then I just got plain stupid talking to a person with a past with me and to realize that this person and I have too much to lose in our respective camps. That could be a future blessing in disquise.

I am so beleagured of figuring out my mental state. Like Doctor Who (the Christopher Eccleston who is the best doctor in my view) once said, "try anything" or was it "do anything"? Now I am being dismissed as one thing that actually I am way to chicken to do and God would not be happy with me. Things get unbearable and just wish I was in another time and dimension or find what they call on "Scrubs", my "happy place."

My family deserves better from me, my friends deserve better from me, and I deserve better from me. Infact Christopher Eccleston deserves better from me. Possibly, I could be up for a job that I would accept and leave the area. If so, it could be a golden opportunity to rebuild my life for hopefully another 47 year run (at the mercy of God above)can be easier and more tolearble to my loved ones and good friends. I didn't ruin anything from what I can tell,there is a dent but dents can come out.

I know my blood pressure and sugars cannot take anymore and my mind is quoting the good doctor. Or as his rival The Master (played flawlessly by John Simm) once said, "What this world needs right now is.. a doctor"... I may need to be my own doctor right now.